Essays
Theology
“Tabitha, arise.”
Arise. And here, for me, the focus shifts away from Peter and his miraculous work, to Tabitha, whose life has ended. A full life, we understand. And while it would be possible to have a life full of charity and the fruits of labor without a heart fully surrendered to God in obedience, what happens next reveals that Tabitha answered “Yes” to her Lord even from death. She follows the sound of His voice, even back to her own lifeless body, inhabiting it again, rising up in obedience.
God, I want to be like that.
Reconciliation
You are needed. Your awkward, almost-right-but-not-quite words are needed. Your allyship, your well-meaning text, your re-share, your dollars do make a difference. Millions of us standing together as awkward allies is worth ten bullet-proof wonder women with all the right words right now, because whether you woke up to the extent of racial injustice in 1960, 2000, or 2020, you’re ahead of the game. There are those of us who are still sleeping, who refuse to wake up, who take pride in their ignorance and aren’t hesitant to post, to cat-call, to cast aside another resume.
Awkward is a start. Awkward is enough.
Motherhood
The soul leaves the body with remarkable ease. It gathers itself up with select portions of the mind and heart, and levitates. On this day, I melted into the ceiling tiles, speckled like the shell of an egg. The grid on the ceiling stretched north, south, east, west in such straight lines, crossing themselves at a reasonable, predictable interval.
Back on the pavement outside of the clinic, my husband squeezed me in for a goodbye hug, telling me he’d see me after his shift. I was startled, suddenly, by the blue sky arching over me, by his familiar touch. He was halfway to his car when I called out to him.
“The baby is fine?”
*Content warning: Reference to sexual trauma.
